I wish I could teleport
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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