pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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