first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
