so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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