I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
