jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
