come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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