does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
