Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
