i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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