is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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