belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
