How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
