Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
