sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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