Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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