shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it glows. i had to have it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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