You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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