You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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