Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize