i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
