I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
