Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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