how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
