Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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