tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
