God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
