fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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