i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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