hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
