i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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