Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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