I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
