I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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