1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
