Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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