How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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