Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
