we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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