I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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