so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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