I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
