she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
