At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
