i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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