I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize