Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
