New invention idea: vibrating tampons
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
