Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
