All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
