Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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