your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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