just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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