you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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