Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
