Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
