it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
