I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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