and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
